I participate in a Friday morning bible study-mentoring-breakfast men's group. There is my best friend, who is older and wiser than me and two younger guys. We have about 20 years on them and we have been meeting together for about 2 years.
We were talking about a verse in Colossians that says, "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator". Our first observation was that it was obvious from the verse that it is possible with the words Paul selected to be one who has put off the old self and still be a liar.
The statement is stop lying since you have put off the old self, not put off the old self by not lying anymore. It is a standard message of grace, we are saved, made righteous and then the transformational process begins.
So after noticing that aspect of the verse, one of our group pointed all the reasons he finds himself lying. He did this after personal reflection and examination. Now this person is one of the most right people I know. He exceeds me in personal character at every turn, and yet he was admitting to lying for a whole littany of reasons, i.e. to avoid conflict, to save face, to hide sin, etc. We then went around our group to talk about the reasons we found ourselves lying. Most of the time they were what we consider small "white" lies, but sometimes they were flat out deception. So as our group ended our time together for the morning, I gathered the breakfast tickets. Usually one of us will pay for everyones breakfast and it is a courtesy to make sure you get the tab when its your turn. As a matter of fact, not meaning to brag, I know that I have a more prosperous job than any of the others, and I know that the second most prosperous of our group, my friend, is paying for his daughters wedding in a few weeks. So even though I paid last week, I discretely grab the tickets and go to the counter to pay.
Then it happenned! My friend asked me a question, "Hey, didn't you pay last week?" Caught with my hand in the cookie jar and not wanting to shame anyone, I said, "I don't remember." It was a blatant lie! I didn't even make it out of the room where we were confessing that we lied and new it was bad, before I had spoken a lie myself. I allowed my friend to pay and then walked out of the store. It took me only a couple of steps before I knew how weak willed I had been. I then called my friend to confess my sin on my way to work, much to his amusement. So much so that he shared my shame with his whole family that evening.
So later in the same week at work I was brought in on a conversation with my field operations manager and partner about a man we had tried using as a foreman for the first time. The foreman had made some mistakes and my partner and field ops manager were discussing the details of how our foreman had lied with regards to some issues with our customer and his mistakes and the ramifications of what we were to do with someone that we now knows will lie to save face.
After listening to the conversation for a few minutes, I felt convicted about my own failings and asked if maybe it wasn't such a bad flaw that would forever ruin this man from working for us. Maybe it was simply an indication that the pressure of foreman and requirements to communicate with issues and conflicts were more than he was capable of dealing with yet. Maybe we should recognize we all have a weakness of wanting to lie in situations where we begin to worry about how others will respond and out of that worry pop out a lie.
So we chose to have grace for our employee. We took the opportunity to teach him that its ok to make mistakes and how its even better when we can lead with the truth, even though I for one can fail in this area and sometimes lead with a lie. I honestly think he will get better at being a foreman, but some people feel so much pain in trying to communicate with others that he might be happier remaining as a journeyman for us. That's very much ok, we need journeyman as well as foremen in our construction business.
But it was an interesting application of grace that comes as we lead like sinners!
2 comments:
Well, Scott, this is my first time to read your blog. Thanks for leading like a sinner on this one. This is an example of not turning from the mirror of the Word and forgetting what you saw there. Because of that, someone received grace. Hmmm...strong lesson.
Great lesson ! Understanding our weaknesses and temptations helps us understand the pressures others endure as well. That shapes our response to other's failings, knowing we fail as well.
We should focus more on building people great, being the best thing that happens to each person we meet every day. Teach them to bounce back from mistakes; that grace is not only for those who deserve it, but for failures as well; that we can overlook much of the bad and focus on drawing out the good in those around us; that while imperfect, we can lead others despite our failing and not be hypocritical.
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