A Leader's Humility

Humility, is an interesting concept. It is defined as the quality or condition of being humble, having a modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc. I like to think that to be humble you must have had the experience of being humiliated. I am pretty sure many might argue this point with me, but I like it and will stand here till I see a better place to go.


The experience of humiliation causes one to see their own weakness, or maybe smallness would be a better word to use. Life happens in such a way that we get a glimpse that we are not in control, and that it is bigger than us. Some people have this experience and then look for others to shield them from the uncertainty of life. They find security in a big organization, a union, a government job where it is difficult to get fired. Others have this experience and in response drive so hard that they never have to feel that way again. So often you have leaders and followers who are both running from something and they find each other.


But a positive can come from this experience of humiliation. A person can see the need to have others help them. I had this experience in my life. I could call it my great humiliation. Truth be told, I am still embarrassed by my failures, but in retrospect, I think they have also been the events that moved me to a better place.

I bought into a business in 1996 with two other partners. We grew with modest success for 3 or 4 years but then had a disastrous year where we lost more money in one 9 month period than any of the partners had. I thought we might go under. The partners, now four decided to split the two companies and go our separate ways. It was an embarrassing time and I was not sure if I could be successful in being a business owner. We sold nice cars and drove beat down high mileage trucks for a while. One of my partners who I separated from thought that there was sin in the camp of our leadership which was why we were not being successful.

I thought that was bad enough, but not quite two years later, while we were still not sure if we could ever be very successful with the business, my wife was diagnosed with cancer. What a blow. It is an incredibly scary thing to have cancer come live in your home. We had three sons, one just going into college and two still home. With out going into great detail, at a time where I would have liked to have been a knight in shining armor, being strong for my wife with cancer, I instead played the role of someone scared, depressed, barely able to stay functioning. I saw my sins and weaknesses and fears consume me.

Yet during this same time frame, when I would be gone for days during each of my wife's' chemo treatments, I saw the small efforts I made, all of a sudden have greater impact than ever before. If I would miss due to absenteeism and poor performance three bids, but the fourth bid I would get done I would get. Our business grew in this time where I couldn't keep anything together. I began to feel the words of David in the bible, blessed is the man who's sins are forgiven. It didn't say blessed is the man who doesn't sin, but who's sins are forgiven. I knew I was blowing it on many levels and yet God was clearly blessing me and I could feel more forgiven than ever before. We have had a stretch of 9 years in a row where we had record years every year. Our business has grown 6 fold over that time frame.

It was during this time frame, my humiliation, that I saw my company make the greatest turn for the good. I began to ask myself the question why is this happening. It was during the next few years that I began to formulate the words, "lead like a sinner", because that was the only thing I could point to that happened. I made mistakes at work, and would welcome feedback on what I screwed up. I invited critique, I was the first to confess and own my errors. I really had no choice. The thing was, things kept getting better. People began to work together better, we got better at defining roles, helping people understand what the other was doing and why. It was really an amazing time and still is.

It was through the crucible of suffering through near bankruptcy and then cancer that my thinking was changed. This was not something I made up, but rather something I lived. God taught it to me in a way that I couldn't miss. He grabbed my full attention and did something that I now consider wonderful. That is what I hope can happen for others who read these thoughts, something wonderful.